


The Person You Lay in Bed With

by hernamewasalice



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, An AU of an AU, Controlling Kylo Ren, Dark, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Forced Relationship, Fucked Up, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Naked Female Clothed Male, Older Man/Younger Woman, Rey Needs A Hug, Underage Sex, original draft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24520438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernamewasalice/pseuds/hernamewasalice
Summary: The person you lay in bed with says a lot about you.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 145
Kudos: 346





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You're a Natural, Kid.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23243074) by [hernamewasalice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernamewasalice/pseuds/hernamewasalice). 



> Initially "You're a Natural, Kid" was supposed to be dark as hell. After writing a few excerpts I decided to do a different approach. In the original concept, it's relatively the same - Rey and Kylo are from opposing mobs and Kylo kills her grandfather. Auggie still exists in the original concept and isn't theirs or related to them at all. But what makes it different is that Kylo isn't a nice man and he keeps Rey for his pleasure. Their relationship is abusive and Rey struggles not to develop feelings for him while trying to make the best of things.
> 
> If you haven't read "You're a Natural, Kid" I would say read that first before this. Anyways enjoy the roughs.

The person you lay in bed with says a lot about you - who you are and your darkest fears and desires. Rey knows this as she was on her hands and knees being done by _him,_ the man she lays in bed with. He does her even when she's asleep sometimes. He never seems to stop. She doesn't mind but only does when the baby wakes up during their intimate time. Kylo doesn't let her go to the baby until he's finished.

The baby doesn't wake up every time but whenever he does, it reminds her how unsettling and disturbed everything was. Kylo owned her and there was nothing she could do. That's how things are. He spared her life and now she was his possession. She closed her eyes and tries her best to not listen to the sounds of the baby's crying. Kylo's almost done. He's almost done, she reminds herself. And then she can go to the baby. Her stomach churns as she hears the baby cried louder and louder helplessly as Kylo ignored it and went on.

Rey can imagine it, the baby's face getting all red from screaming his lungs out. It doesn't make anything better. Kylo's pace quickens and for a moment she forgets, consumed by the pleasure she was feeling. She hates him and yet she likes the way it feels when he fills her. And make her feel whole. For a moment hot spurts of come warms her up before being pulled back to the cold reality of things.

When he's done, that's when she's able to hear the sound of crying. Kylo doesn't care for the baby and she's reminded of this as he gets himself off of her for her to go take care of the baby. Kylo doesn't even hand her clothes. He just heads to the bathroom to clean himself off. Out of the months that she's been stuck with him, he's never once held the baby. Rey pulls a dress over her body and scrambles to go to the baby. She doesn't even put on a bra or her underwear. She just wants to go to the baby. She doesn't even give herself a second to breathe. Every time she forgets she has to wait a bit to regain feeling with her legs. Her body trembles every time, numb from being under a large man. Fresh come oozes out of her every time. He's so big she can't even take in all his come. She feels it dripping down her thighs.

Sometimes, Rey wished she was dead.

It would have been easier.

She would have picked that choice if it wasn't for the baby she found two months prior to everything changing.

* * *

_The last moment with her grandfather was him stuffing her and the baby in the closet. He puts piles of clothes over them and creates a barrier out of the assortment of items before they came._

_The Knights of Ren._

_It all happened so fast. What broke her heart was that she couldn't say goodbye to him. When it was happening, when she was being stashed away and hidden in the closet, Rey was so disorientated. She wished she was able to gather herself and say something._

_Her grandfather was killed a minute afterwards._

_And she heard it._

_She heard it all._ _There was nothing Rey could do. She knew that the place was being guarded. She couldn't escape. It was too dangerous. The only thing she could do was to keep her and the baby quiet until the men left. Things didn't happened that way._

_She was found first._

* * *

_Rey was only fifteen but she was receptive. She knew he wanted to keep her as a status of power - that he did it, he killed Palpatine and now possessed his granddaughter. She sees it in the young man's eyes as he looked up at her up and down. Her small frame catches his attention then and then her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat. She knows what's going to happen. He's going to rape her and kill her. She tried to close her eyes but she couldn't. She can't help but to look at him. There's something about his dark eyes._

_She couldn't run for two of his men were holding her in place by both arms._

_Kylo Ren touches her cheek. She knows who he is and now he knew of her existence. He's so much bigger than she had imagined him to be. There was so much bitterness and anger laced across his face that there were no words to match the intensity. "You have pretty eyes," he tells her._

_Rey blinks at him, stunned._

Those were the first words he speaks to her. She didn't know it was going to be something she was going to remember.

_He moves his hand away from her face and she realizes then that he's covered in blood. Her grandfather's blood. She feels something wet on her temple. Her skin tightened. She knew what it was._

It was just a mark of blood but it stays with her to this day like a scar.

_"What's your name?" he asked her._

_Her eyes flickered as she searches for the courage to speak. There's no expression on his face. No smirk. Nothing. Just a blank canvas. "Rey," her voice was small._

_"Rey," he repeats back in a low voice. He wasn't screaming. He was rather calm and yet it sent chills down her spine. She doesn't know what he's going to do with her but she can tell by the way he was acting so collectively that he was a calculated man. "You have two choices. I can spare your life or I can spare your misery."_

_"What happens if you spare my life?" she asked. She knows there was a catch. She has an idea of what it is but she wants to hear it from him. She can tell he was angry man by the lines on his face and for him to be so calm was terrifying._

_She wonders what his men fear the most, his anger or his silence._

* * *

_Kylo washes the blood off his hands first before snatching her by the hand and taking her upstairs. He's not at all gentle._

_"What are you -_

_"Would you rather get fucked with an audience?" he snapped back, glaring at her._

_Rey quickly shakes her head. She can tell by his response that he was an impatient man. He doesn't have the temperament to explain what was going on. Kylo points for her to go on her bed. Rey does so. She doesn't want to upset him._

_"Remember if you want to live you can't deny me, ever," he tells her again. He's so emotionless as he said this._

_"I know," her heart skipped a beat._

_He nodded then. "Good." He takes off her shirt then. Her body tenses up as her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. She tries to cover herself with her arms but he pulls them away. "Don't. Ever. Deny. Me," he bit out every single word. Rey remained silent as he proceeded to strip her bare. He doesn't hesitate in touching her breasts. She shivered. His fingers are so calloused. She just has to get used to it._

_He teases her nipples. Tugs on them. Circles them._

_"Everything about you is so pretty," he murmured._

_She doesn't believe that but she doesn't respond back. She hates how good this felt. Him groping her. She keeps pressing her thighs together to hide how wet she was getting._

_"You will enjoy sex. I know how to please a woman." With his free hand he pries her thighs apart and begins to violate her. "And I can tell you agree with that statement."_

_Rey bit her lip hard from moving away. She doesn't want to anger him. She's afraid of what he'll do. He might strike her. She counts in her head as he proceeds to touch her. His fingers are big. She shoves the thoughts away and thinks about the baby still sleeping in the closet. She has to live. She has to be here still for the baby._

* * *

_Ben's not a bad man_ \- this is something his mother constantly says to her.

Every time his mother does it makes Rey want to ask her: _then what do you call men who keeps young girls under their possession for their sexual needs?_

But Rey doesn't ask that though.

She sees that Leia was unhappy with how her son turned out. She can tell that Leia was uncomfortable with her son's choice in sleeping with a teenager. Rey doesn't see Leia as much. Rey and the baby live with Kylo but on the weekdays Rey has school and so during that time, Leia watches the baby until Rey gets out. If it wasn't for Leia, Rey wouldn't have been able to go to school. Kylo just wanted her to be kept in the apartment at all times. It took so much from Leia to convince him and Rey was grateful. School was the only place she had to be away from all of this - where she can be normal. A normal teenager. Sometimes she wants to partake in clubs and after school activities but she knows she can't. She has to go straight to the baby.

Rey loves the baby even though he wasn't hers, she loved him. Auggie was the only one she had.

She stares at the flyers plastered on nearly every wall of the upcoming formal. She wants to go but she knows it's something Kylo won't approve of because the formal was past normal school hours and he wants all her time. He doesn't want her to be happy. He doesn't want her to be normal. He just wants her to be reminded of who she is and who she is with him.

"Okay girl you clearly want to go," Jannah nudged her. "What's holding you back?"

Not what but who. She knows what Kylo's going to say. He doesn't want her to be around boys. He wants her to be faithful to him while it was okay for him to sleep with other women. It didn't matter anyways. She and him were nothing. She was just his prized sex doll. "I don't have the money for it or have a dress," she said. Which was all true. Everything had a price.

"I can lend you some money!" Rose smiled. Rose says it instantly, without a second thought.

"I second that offer too."

Rey smiled. She doesn't know what she did to be given such kind friends. Her smile faded as she was left wondering how she could go with him not knowing. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final original excerpt with an open ending ~  
> warning it's dark and triggering so be warned.

_His hands are all over her as if he was memorizing her._

_There was something about being exposed to a clothed man. It doesn't sit well with her. She feels degraded, like an animal on display. His fingers latch on to her nipples, teasing them once more. He presses a kiss on her collarbone. She was thin and her clavicles popped out of her skin. He circles her nipples and breathes a hot breath against her bare skin. "These will be pierced tomorrow," he tells her in a low voice._

_She blinked. "I-I don't want -_

_He frowned at her, his own piercings glimmering in the dim light. She went silent as he proceeds to to touch her. He has so many piercings on his face. Two on his lip, one under his lip, at the bridge, one on his eyebrow, several ear piercings, and a tongue piercing. He doesn't say much but when he does, the metal in his mouth shines. "You don't have much of a choice do you?" He bends down to lick her nipple._

_She shivered from the metal in his mouth._

_His fingers find her pussy. "And this will be pierced too."_

_Rey felt her face become hotter. The thought of having piercings in her private areas terrified her._

_"I'm going to pierce them myself," he informs her. "I don't want anyone else to see you but me."_

_Rey couldn't help but to frown. She knows he's trying to reassure her it was going to be okay._ She knows it's mainly for aesthetic purposes but she knows that for him, it was a sign of ownership towards her. He wants to mark her in places where no on else was supposed to touch. _"Have you...done piercings before?"_

_He nods. "I gave myself all my piercings. It's not that difficult."_

_Kylo licks her nipple again as he touched her there. Rey kept still, biting on her lip to stay quiet. He's sucking on her nipples now, rotating back and forth. He's not at all gentle and he's making a loud sucking noise as if he was starving. He's not embarrassed at all. In fact he seemed to enjoy it. He's touching his crotch instead of her pussy. She winced as he proceeds to suck faster on her nipples. She touches herself once in a while but was never like this with herself. She was sensitive as it was and he wasn't helping. He's biting now and leaving marks on her breasts._

_She feels herself becoming wetter. There was something about feeling the metal on her skin. Metal is everywhere on his face. She wondered if there was more metal elsewhere._

_"Lay on your back." He peels off his black clothes and for once she sees an expression on his face. It's slight but it stood out. He's smirking at her. She can tell he's enjoying presenting himself to her. He's not shy at all. He's body is defined and covered in large clusters of tattoos. She's not surprised for it was common even with her family's mob._

_She tries not to stare but it's hard not to. She sees it, his cock. It's so big and thick. It was standing on its own, red at the tip dripping in precum. She wonders if all men's...were like that. She notices something else, the piercing at his pubic bone._

* * *

Her friends at school don't know about the baby she found. They don't know about Kylo. They don't know anything she doesn't want them to know. Rey just wants to be normal. She puts up a happy front, bubbly and welcoming and a part of her believes it sometimes that the façade she carries is real - that she was just a normal girl who's only problem is finding out if her crush likes her or not.

Rey doesn't like anyone. Rose and Jannah try to get her to be interested in boys but none catches her eye. It's hard for Rey to like anyone given with the way she's been brought up. Her grandfather always warned her about being cautious about boys. He used to tell her that boys only want sex and will do anything for it. He told her to be careful and take some time in getting to know someone before being in a relationship.

And with her experiences right now, the last thing she wants is to be with someone. The idea of sex scares her with "normal boys". It's scary thought to her of being rejected and someone losing interest in her. What scares her the most was getting attached and getting her heart broken. That's why Rey doesn't get close to anyone.

With Kylo, she doesn't mind sex. Sex for them was different. They had sex for his pleasure and for transaction purposes. The only reason why she's alive is because he's sparing her and keeping a roof over her and Auggie's head.

Sex with one another wasn't romantic.

He kisses her ever so often but only when they were having sex. He holds her on a few occasions when he's drained from work. Every thing they do was not for her but him. He doesn't hold her to comfort her or for his own comfort. He hugs her to have a moment to hold on to something constant. And she was his constant the way he was hers. It was entirely different and she knows that her friends who were the same age as her won't understand until they were older. Many teenagers have this naïve idea about love and relationships but Rey knows better.

You can have sex without having any feelings towards someone.

Rey shakes her head and proceeds to follow the girls. They were at the mall, helping her find a dress. Rey keeps an eye on the price tags and stays away from anything over forty dollars. Rey has some money, she has a card from Kylo but she knows very well to be careful with her purchase. He's good with money and keeps track of it and it doesn't help that the card was under his name. It wasn't like he will get mad for her spending too much, it's just he's so possessive of her and would ask her a million questions. He doesn't trust her. He thinks that she's going to try to leave him.

Rey couldn't leave if she tried.

Her grandfather was really protective of her that he kept her a secret from the mob. That's why no one was looking for her. They don't know that she exists. She's stuck with Kylo and even if she killed him, she'll be dead. And it's not just her, its also Auggie's well being at stake. She's financially dependent on Kylo. Without him she wouldn't be able to go to this nice private school or have a smart phone or able to have the money to take care of a child.

"You got to try this dress!" Rose comes running from the opposite end of the store, carrying a dress on a hanger.

"That's so pretty!" Jannah agreed.

Rey stared at the dress. It already looks nice on the rack. It's red with a flowy skirt and knee length. The straps were cute and trimmed with lace. She blinked and wondered how much it was.

"Don't worry it's totally in your budget," Rose said quickly. "Try it on!"

Rey takes the dress and goes to an empty dressing room. She takes her time in the dressing room. She couldn't help but to look at her reflection. The dress fit just right and accentuated the small curves on her body. It was a pretty dress and for once she feels all was well.

* * *

Sometimes, Rey forgets that she was still a child. She becomes aware of this as she's being forced into the car. She doesn't resist for she knows not to. He doesn't like that. She sits down in silence as he fastens the baby in the car seat. She thinks about her actions and how naïve she was to believe she could go to a dance without him knowing.

She should have thought it out better.

He's mad at her and she doesn't blame him. She went out without telling him or Leia. After school, she didn't go straight for the baby. Instead she went to Rose's house to get ready with her and Jannah for the formal that was held at a golf club. Rey just turned off her phone so she wouldn't be able to be tracked. Rey becomes aware that she must have worried Leia to death. Rey's certain that her phone is flooded with texts and voicemails form Leia and Kylo. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized she neglected Auggie to go out. What was wrong with her? She left the baby so she could be out until midnight. She should have known better than that.

Kylo gets into the driver's seat and starts the car. He's not even looking at her. His shoulders are tense and his jaw was twitching. He was angry.

Rey doesn't say a word.

She expects it to be quiet until they get home. No. Ten minutes in the drive was when he speaks. "You have a phone," he said bitterly. "Why didn't you answer?"

"It was off," she said. Her fingers dug into her palm.

"For five hours?" he yelled at her.

"I-I didn't know," she said meekly.

Kylo pulls off to the side of the road. "You're a fucking liar," he screamed at her. "You're not dumb. You scared my mom to death. She called you so many times because she thought something happened to you because you always go pick up Auggie after school. She had to call me and begged me to come look for you."

"I'm sorry," she said weakly. That was all she could say. There was nothing she could say to excuse what she did. "I didn't mean to make Leia worry."

"Why didn't you just tell us?"

Rey exhaled. "I don't know." Rey did know. She knew Kylo wouldn't let her go. He wanted her to stay at Leia's until he was off at night. Like always.

His jaw twitched again. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not."

He shook his head at her. He unbuckles seatbelt. Rey froze. "What are you doing?" she asked as he got on top of her. He's lowering her seat. Rey still has her seatbelt on but it didn't matter. There was nowhere else she could go.

His car is tinted and they were stopped in an area that wasn't busy. She shuts her eyes as he's ripping her underwear. It's late and dark. No one was here. No one's going to come and stop this. Rey remained still underneath him. She was trapped in such a small space and under a large man. She couldn't even moved if she tried. She couldn't even deny him. She's not supposed to and she knows.

And so she lets him relieve his frustrations on her.

He shoves his cock in. He usually gets her wet first but he doesn't this time. Rey winced as tears prickled. It hurts. He's so big. He doesn't care about how she was feeling. He's fucking her in a car that's parked off of the road with the baby in the back. She should know that Kylo doesn't care. He never does. She bites into his shoulder to muffle out her sounds. The last thing she needed was to wake up the baby.

She can't stand being fucked and hearing the baby cry.

Kylo doesn't even try to conceal his moans.

She's just thankful that they still had clothes on and the baby was asleep.

Kylo moves back slightly. He's still thrusting in her but right now he's tugging down the straps of her dress. He tears her strap off and yanks her bra down to suck on nipple. A part of her breaks. She really liked the dress. Kylo ruins everything, like he always does. He stops then and stared at her. His cock was inside of her still. "Where are your piercings?"

"I took them off for tonight."

He continues to fuck her at a quicker pace. "You know better than that," his tone was cold. "You can never get away from me."

"I know." She feels her body becoming wet now and the pain dulls but only slightly. "I wasn't trying to get away from you - I just wanted to go to the dance."

"I would have let you gone if you asked."

He's lying. She knows him. She doesn't speak back. She knows not to.

"You know better, Rey. And now you have to be punished." He lets himself to go to a point she can't control herself from screaming. She hates the sound of her screams. Horror mixed with confused arousal. She doesn't want to be turned on but it felt good.

The baby wakes up and is crying.

But no one's here to check up on the parked car.

He can do whatever he wants, like he always does.

Kylo tears at her strap even more to taunt her. To remind her who was in control. He's pulling at her hair, messing her curls. "I'm going to come on your pretty dress," he whispered into her ear. "You think I'm a monster but you've never seen me angry."

"Then what are you now?" she snapped at him. He's trying to scare her, discipline her like a dog.

"I'm what you need. You deserve this."

"I don't!" she shoved him off of her.

He doesn't falter. He continues to fuck her and wraps his hands around her throat. "Don't ever do that again. Don't ever act like that. How could you leave the baby like that?"

She couldn't even answer.

He was choking her. She's attempting to kick him off of her but she's not strong enough to overpower a man.

He stared at her emotionlessly as he allows her not to breathe. "What you did was irresponsible and selfish. You're a bad mom." Rey stopped altogether. He lets go of her neck then for he knew he struck a cord with her.

The baby was still crying and Rey's forced to listen to it as she's gathering her breath.

"I'm not a bad mom!" she said. She's crying then, crying like a child that she was. She hates him but hates more how true it was. She did leave Auggie to go out. "I just wanted a couple of hours to get away from you!"

"I know you did." He pushes her back to the seat and proceeds to where they left off.

He pulls out the moment he comes on her dress. He doesn't even clean her up. Instead he pulls up his pants and climbs back to the driver's seat to get them home.

* * *

She's left alone in her thoughts, trying to process what had happened.

She stays in the car and he lets her.

He takes the baby and himself inside the apartment.

Rey could still feel him, his cock inside of her. She's so sore and she was covered in bruises. Her dress is ruined and covered in his come. She smells like him. She's thankful that she has the weekend before having to go back to another week of school. She hates him, she really does. And yet that statement didn't feel true with her. She keeps thinking about what he said to her - about how furious he was about how she neglected the baby. There was more to that. Maybe deep down, he cares about the baby and perhaps maybe even her.

Maybe he was scared too. Maybe he thought something happened to her.

Maybe he thought members of her mob came back.

Maybe he thought she reported what was happening to her.

Or maybe he was upset how what she did wasn't like her and he wanted to punish her.

Regardless of whatever reason, it wasn't right for him to use sex as way to punish her.

Rey sits by herself in the car until she was ready to go back inside. When she gets inside the apartment she finds him holding the baby. It startles her. This was the most she's seen him hold the baby. He's never hold the baby before. It startles her more to see the baby smiling at him and touching his pierced up face. It occurs to her that the baby likes him. Rey shouldn't be surprised. Auggie sees him all the time and was comfortable with his presence - but babies were like dogs and they should have a good sense of character. Auggie should be crying like crazy but he wasn't. Auggie's giggling, tugging at Kylo's lip piercing. Kylo lets the baby do that.

It's unnerving that Kylo doesn't smile even when the baby is showing him affection. But she knows why though, men like him were taught to hide their emotions. He was the leader of the Knights of Ren after all.

Rey doesn't speak but she looks at him.

He looks at her too.

She walks past him and changes out of her clothes. He follows her, holding the baby. It's an odd image to her, seeing this giant man hold a tiny baby. It was more distrubing that Auggie was perfectly content being held by him. Once she was done, she holds Auggie in her arms. "I've never seen you hold the baby before," she said.

"I always hold the baby."

"You don't."

"I do," he laughed bitterly. "There are times where you don't hear the baby cry in the middle of the night so I feed him." The baby was only a few months old that needed to be fed every couple of hours.

Rey doesn't respond to him. "Did you fed him already?" she changed the subject then.

"I already did."

"Okay well I guess it's time to sleep."

"He can sleep with us tonight," he tells her.

She blinked. Kylo never lets Auggie sleep in bed with them. Auggie always has to be in the crib unless he has to be fed or changed. Perhaps this was his way in apologizing. She held the baby tighter. She shouldn't put so much hope into people that were too far gone.

* * *

When morning comes, she wakes up alone in bed with flowers on the night stand. At first she thought she was imagining it but there were flowers, red roses and baby's breath in glass vase with a ribbon wrapped around. She stared at the flowers in bewilderment.

She pulled the blanket closer to her body. He doesn't care for her. He just feels guilty for making her cry last night. And yet, a small part of her felt like he did. Perhaps he is trying his best but doesn't know how with the way he's brought up. No - she shouldn't have hope for people that were too far gone.

And yet, she can't help but to look at the flowers.

She stumbles to the kitchen to finding him feeding the baby. She smells pancakes. He made them. He never cooks. She usually does the cooking or he orders take out. "Hey," he said to her.

"Hey," she said softly.

She smells coffee too.

"I made you breakfast."

"I can see that," she said. She doesn't want to say thank you and he doesn't mind. She sits down besides them. It's lovely picture, waking up to roses and breakfast. It doesn't feel real. It feels artificial but for one moment, she wants to pretend that this was her life. That they were happy together.

When she undresses to shower, it's when the illusion stops. She sees it, all the marks he left on her. There were so many on her neck. She can't pretend that this was healthy. It wasn't. She shoves those thoughts away and takes a shower. She doesn't want to think about it anymore, what happened last night.

When she gets out of the shower, she finds him holding her phone.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"Nothing."

She takes the phone out of his hand.

He lets her.

She checks her phone. "Where you reading my messages?"

"No."

"What were you doing then- " she paused. She noticed it, how empty her voicemail inbox was. "Did you delete your messages that you sent me?"

He doesn't respond.

Rey ignores him and goes to the recently deleted section to recover the voicemails. She listens to the string of voicemails in front of him. One by one. In the messages she can hear it, the gradual progression of him panicking. He left her so many, more than Leia even. Rey was stunned. She never heard him sound like that before. Every message was an increase of worry and anxiety. She stops listening to the messages and hugs him.

He blinked several times. He waits for her to let go but she doesn't and so he holds her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself not to write another chapter but here we are

He thinks about it for the rest of the week - the tiny embrace of a small girl. It was the first time she had hugged him - had given him affection that he did not force or take. Things returned back to normal after that, feeling unable to have the girl he laid in bed with.

The person you lay in bed with says a lot about you.

He liked pretty little things and he liked possessing them even if they didn't want him. He doesn't know why he had feelings towards this girl. Nothing made sense. From the first encounter, he latched on.

Kylo never latched on to anyone. And yet with her, it was beyond him. He doesn't care that she hates him. He just wants her to be with him always. Even if she doesn't want to.

He doesn't mind the baby, just wished they could have one of their own. He supposed to wait until she graduates high school at least. Then he will toss out her birth control pills. She likes babies and perhaps maybe she'll like him if he gave her one. He's quite fond of the baby for the baby's the only one she smiles for and she had such a lovely smile.

Maybe some day he could get her to smile.

Uneasiness fills the house for the entire week. She has to stay home for she couldn't go to school with marks on her neck. It was apparent by her throat that she had been strangled. He didn't mean to be violent for her and to that intensity. Kylo supposed she could use makeup but it was easier for her to kept inside. His mother picks up her homework every single day for her along with bringing a cooked dish. Sometimes, his mother stayed to keep her company.

His mother who was the most outspoken person he knew didn't say a word to him at all about the incident. How he snatched Rey at the formal. How he fucked her in the car and choked her. Left hand prints on her neck. His mother didn't ask anything for she's too afraid of what her son had become.

* * *

It's late when he gets home after work. This was nothing new. She's already asleep and curled up in bed with the baby. Kylo keeps the light off and maneuvers himself in the dark. Step by step, he discards his items of clothing one by one. He needs her. He can't be away from her long. Genlty he pulls the baby from out of her grasp and puts the baby in the crib.

She wakes up from this to his surprise. She usually wakes up when he sticks himself into her. Her eyes fluttered as she softly yawned. She doesn't get startled anymore. Rey lays limp like a doll as he undressed her. She's used to their routine and she rolls herself on her stomach next. Kylo frowned at the sight for reasons he doesn't know why. He flips her on her back. Rey blinked. "I want to see your face," he whispered. He orders Alexa to turn on the lights slightly. Dim, not too bright for the baby to wake up and not too dark for him not to see her.

Rey went numb. She's only fifteen, still a child and like most children they respond well to routines. And this wasn't part of their late night routine. He usually has his way with her on her stomach because it was easy for her to sleep while he used her. And usually they have it in the dark to avoid waking the baby. She's panicking quietly but she remains obedient to him as ever.

Whatever he wants, he gets.

New things were scary for her. It will be another thing for her to get used to. Another thing for her to try to comprehend. Rey shuts her eyes immediately as he went on top of her. It felt like a parasite crawling up along her body. He collapses in between her breasts. She waits for him to position her to his sex but he doesn't. He's just...laying there. On her.

He's a large man. She can never move or escape his grasp. The most she could do was turn her head and so she does. She focuses on the flowers that were on the nightstand. The flowers were dead to remind her the passage of time. He gave her the flowers a week ago and it was a matter of time to dispose of them, to get rid of the sign of kindness he gave to her.

"I liked it when you hugged me," he whispered. There's no emotion in his tone, ever.

His voice is still powerful even when he said nothing at all. The words sent shivers down her spine.

"I can hear your heart beating. You're nervous," he said in observation. His arms wrap around her tightly, trapping her. But you can't trap things that are already in a cage. He pulls his head up and bores his eyes at her. He likes to scare her. It wasn't that he enjoyed her being afraid of him, it's just he liked seeing her look so helpless.

She was a pretty thing and he loved seeing her eyes dilate.

* * *

Rey always knew how her life will be. From beginning to end. Her grandfather paved it out even before she was born. But now she doesn't know anymore. And yet one thing still remained for sure, she always knew she would end up in an abusive relationship with an older man. She knew very early on that she wouldn't have a choice. It was supposed to be her grandfather's choice or any man that took over their mob. She knew regardless that the man will be handsome and violent. And Kylo was all those things.

She can tell that Kylo hasn't made up his mind yet with her - if he will just make her a housewife or make her partake in his mob. He takes her sometimes to the headquarters with the baby. There's times where he doesn't trust her alone when he or his mother wasn't around. His men are much more respectful with women than he is. She feels safer around his men but she knows it's mainly towards the fact that they can't touch her.

Kylo was a very possessive man and she knows he isn't the one to share or have sloppy seconds. This part of him, she's grateful for. She knows very well that in her mob women were passed around.

There's a little space for her and the baby to go to while the "big men" discuss work. She looks so much of a little girl to them playing with a doll in the corner.

"She's lost some weight," Trudgen observed from a distance. "Do you feed her?"

"Of course I do," Kylo snapped.

"It might be good if you feed her before and after sex," Cardo suggested.

"Don't tell me how to maintain what's mine," Kylo frowned.

The men went silent then and proceeded on with their discussion.

Rey notices the shift in mood. She doesn't say a word and proceeds to put the baby to sleep.

* * *

When they get home, she's on her back being fucked by him as always. Her arms are wrapped around him for life as he was having his way with her. She doesn't particularly like him but she likes the close contact. She likes his breath on her - his body on her. The only time she hears him weak was when they were having sex. He whimpers as he puts his cock into her small body, painful mutters. He moans as he finds the rhythm and place. He shudders as he comes. She likes the contact, the sheer intimacy of it all.

She thinks about it all the time - that she's going to have a baby with him one day. Maybe even more. The idea of it doesn't mortify her as much as the first time she thought about it. He's not as involved with Auggie as she would like but she thinks Kylo will be with his own children. Their children will be strong and tall like him. Rey thinks about those things.

"What's on your mind?" he asks her.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking about how our children will look like," she said indifferently. She's not embarrassed at all for sharing her thoughts with him. She's not repulsed of the idea like she was not too long ago. The thought had warmed up to her. She knew how her life will be and so did he.

"How do they look like?" he rolls his hips.

"Like you," she couldn't help but to touch his curls. She doesn't like him but she would love to see her children with his curls. She watches as his eyes flickered. He doesn't show any emotion on his face but she can tell he likes the idea of it - having carbon copies of himself running around. He was so conceited, so self absorbed. But she thinks about what happened not too long ago with the formal and how angry he was for her being irresponsible with Auggie.

"We can start early if you want."

Rey blinked. Was that him...giving her a choice? He doesn't really give her a say in anything except for food. "I would like to finish school first," she tells him slowly. She's unable to hide her confusion. Her tone sounded as if she was asking a question.

"Fair enough," he said simply. He doesn't seem to mind about it and it settles well with her. If he wanted he could get her pregnant. He could throw her birth control pills away and fucked her until he knocked her up. She couldn't do anything since he easily overpowered her. He rubs his face against her neck as he continued to thrust in her. His curls tickles her. She couldn't help but to giggle. Kylo was a strange man and yet he was acting more strange than usual. He keeps rubbing his face into her neck as if he wanted something. "Touch my hair again," he murmured.

Rey raised her eyebrow. She doesn't question it. She complies. His pace slows down and then he stops without finishing. Her heart skipped a beat. "Kylo?" she called for him. He lifts his head up and stares at her. Rey blinked several times. What was going on? Her fingers were still in his hair, stunned by everything. This was the second time that things were different. First with the other night of being on her back for sex despite it being late -he usually helps himself and lets her sleep on her stomach. And right now, this moment.

She doesn't know what's going on.

Him stopping before finishing wasn't like him.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, holding her breath. Was he sick?

Kylo nodded. "Everything's fine."

* * *

She wakes up the next morning. She lingers in bed even though her alarm went off. She just wants a few more minutes before having to get ready for school. She tries to shut her eyes but something catches her eye. Something bright.

Rey sits up and finds flowers on the nightstand again. There were fresh flowers, sunflowers to be exact.

She stared at them and wondered the reason why they were here.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why but I keep thinking about this version.

"Who was that guy at the dance?" Jannah asked.

Rey pretended not to hear and quietly ate her food. She had returned to school after a week away and she knew it was inevitable for her friends to be asking her questions. Not just friends but the whole school. Kylo wasn't exactly discrete with snatching her. She chews her sandwich slowly and thought about it. She's been thinking about how to answer for the entire time away and yet couldn't decide on how to answer. "What guy?" she asked dumbly. Her heart skipped a beat, perhaps she was being too obvious.

"The one who took you away," Rose said then.

She bit her lip. "It's complicated." Which wasn't a lie. It was quite an understatement in fact.

Jannah and Rose leaned forward. "Complicated as in how?" they both beamed. Rey's stomach churned. Her friends were loyal but they love gossip but there was no way she could avoid this conversation. The girls were dying to know what happened to Rey, especially after taking a week off.

"He's really good looking," Rose giggled.

Jannah nodded in approval.

Rey used all her strength not to grimace. She can admit Kylo was attractive but to hear her friends comment that made her feel sick to her stomach. If only they knew what he was doing to her. She's not a virgin anymore because of him. He murdered her grandfather. And he raped her and choked her in the car on formal. But another part of her was sad for they know about him now. Rey can't explain it, she sort of feels protective of him. She's just confused.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Jannah asked, giving Rey a flirty look.

"Yeah - he is," Rey answered. To some extent. She puts on a bubbly exterior to go along with the lie. She knows how to pretend to be a normal teenager. She's watched enough people and shows to mimic it. "But he's older though. It's very complicated."

Rose and Jannah nodded. "Ah. Don't worry, your secret is safe with us."

* * *

Things go back to routine.

After school, Rey goes to Leia's house to pick up Auggie. Leia is able to talk to her normally since Rey's marks are gone now. _Just because my bruises are gone doesn't change the fact that your son choke me_ , Rey wanted to say but she didn't. She knows Kylo didn't mean to, he was angry for her being irresponsible but it didn't excuse it. All Rey could think about was the sunflowers he left for her this morning.

"How is everything, dear?" Leia asked.

"Fine. Things are back to normal."

Leia frowned, taken back by her bitter tone. "I hope that isn't the case."

"Everything's fine. School is fine and I'm fine," Rey emphasized. Leia wasn't a bad person but she wasn't exactly moral. Leia was an enabler, allowing her son to be in a mob and raping little girls. Rey gathered the baby in her arms and rocked him to keep herself distracted. She doesn't want to hear Leia justify her son's actions.

"Ben really loves does you," she said quietly. "He just doesn't know how to show it."

 _It's your fault_ , Rey wanted to respond back. But Rey doesn't for she doesn't have the heart to hurt a mother. Not after since Rey left the baby for a night.

* * *

Kylo picks her up later in the evening, like he always does. Leia and Kylo rotated days. Most days, Leia drops Rey and the baby off and the other days, Kylo picks them up in the night. He carries the baby's things while Rey put the baby in the car. He's dressed all in black, like always. Leather jacket and all. "How was school?" he asked her.

"It was okay, nothing special."

"I see," he said. The one thing she likes about him is that he lets things be. "What would you like to eat?"

Rey shrugged. "I really don't care tonight. Anything really."

Kylo starts the car and lets the engine warm up first before speaking. "I'm not in a mood to go out. Are you fine with instant noodles at home?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with it." Rey had a soft spot for instant noodles, it reminded her of her childhood of waiting for her grandfather to return home at night. Her grandfather would leave her money for delivery or frozen dinners and ready goods. It makes her think of him fondly despite the fact she was neglected.

* * *

She feeds the baby first before making their dinner. It didn't take too long given instant ramen cooks within a few minutes. Kylo was showering as Rey took care of the baby. She puts Auggie in the bouncer as she cooked. She made them both spicy chicken ramen and added some sesame oil and chopped up vegetables. Rey cooked the noodles and broth in separate pots. It makes it easier to avoid the noodles from absorbing the liquid. She cracked some eggs in a different pan, makes them runny since it'll fully cook in the soup later.

They had some leftover hot wings and so Rey microwaved that too.

When she hears Kylo come out of the shower, she begins to chop up fresh green onions and dresses up their bowls. For Kylo, she adds a drizzle of siracha and for hers she adds a slice of American cheese. For both she puts some fishcakes too. She puts extra in his bowl because she knows how much he likes them. It kinda scares her, how much she knows him.

His hair is wet, sticking on to his skin. He's dressed in a thin white T shirt and dark gray sweats. She can see it, the print of his...Rey tries not to look at it. He doesn't notice though for he's turning on the TV to keep the baby occupied from disturbing them. Kylo pours her a grape soda in a tall glass with ice and he gets himself a cold beer from the fridge. It scares her too, how much he knows about her.

* * *

They ate in silence with the sound of the TV and the baby in the background. Kylo can tell that she was happy right now, even though she will never say it. Instant ramen was both their favorite comfort food and they were sharing the experience together of nostalgia. And the feeling of not being alone. "I used to never eat my noodles like this before."

She looks up, slurping in between raising her eyebrow.

"Used to eat my instant noodles plain, no add ons besides hot sauce."

Rey makes a face. "How did you live?"

He shrugs. "I didn't know that there were better things before."

* * *

The person you lay in bed says a lot about you. Kylo doesn't say much but he has a lot on his mind. She's not sure if it's because that's how he was or his upbringing, but she knows what he's trying to articulate. That he appreciated her - that he's happy having her in his life.

It makes her feel funny, perhaps she was getting sick too.

* * *

Kylo can tell she was at unease tonight. She always was but never to this extent. Something was wrong. He wonders if something happened at school. Kylo contemplates about asking her but he doesn't. He already tried earlier and he doesn't want to press on.

He decides to relax her nerves. He fingers her to help release her tension opposed to fucking her. As much as he enjoyed it he assumes it must be painful for her back. He rarely gets to touch her there since she's hates waking up the baby. She's trembling now as his fingers ran along her slit. She's shaking her head for him to stop because she's making a lot noise. _But she's so close to coming._ Kylo wants to help her finish. He wants her to experience full waves of pleasure. She's so close to coming and she needs it. He holds her down from scrambling as he touched her clit. She's so wet, mouth opened but she's using all her strength to be quiet.

"It's okay if you make noise," he whispered, attempting to reassure her.

She's quivering underneath his fingertips. She was biting into her bottom lip and her toes were curled and her hands were in tight shaky fists. Kylo doesn't slow his pace at all. He keeps playing with her sensitive spot. She's whimpering, twisting about to break free. He loves hearing her sound like this.

"Don't worry," he kisses the side of her head. "I'll take care of the baby just let me take care of you first."

Rey grimaced. So the only time he's willing to take care of the baby is in exchange for sex - she stops to whimper out the sound of her moan. She can feel it - the pressure building within her. She feels all warm as the pleasure spread all across her body, especially her lower part. Rey couldn't help but to moan. It feels so good that she feels like crying. She liked being licked but didn't know that she could get so aroused by just his fingers. He knows how to touch her, knows more about her body than she did.

Kylo hushes her again to stay still. She's shaking all over and he wants to feel her come spilling on to his fingers. "Just relax, you're almost there."

* * *

He licks her off first before going to the crying baby.

Rey laid in bed, breathing heavily. She pulls the blankets over to hide her naked body. She hates how good it was - how good he made her feel - and yet she can't seem to hate him. She should though after what he's done to her.

"Feeling better?" he asked her.

She doesn't respond. Instead she watches him interact with the baby. To her surprise, it doesn't take long for Auggie to stop crying. He's playing with Kylo's face piercings right now. Even with a happy baby Kylo doesn't smile. Kylo was staring at the baby blankly. He was always like this, indifferent.

"He adores you and yet you show no emotion," she mumbled. She doesn't hide her bitterness about it. Babies and animals have a strong judgement of character and yet Auggie was fond of Kylo. The baby loves him and yet he doesn't reciprocate back.

Kylo flinched as the baby tugged on his lip piercing. He doesn't move the baby away. "I don't know how."

"But your mom is -

"I wasn't raised by my mother all of my childhood. She sent me away when I was ten to my uncle to learn more about the mob. It was all laid out for me. I was to become the leader one day and a part of that involved separation from my mother and father."

Rey blinked. The baby giggles softly in the background. She didn't know how different their mobs were. As much as her grandfather was a cruel man, he did care for her. The way Kylo's mob worked seemed so heartless to her. Inhumane. "How long were you away from her?"

"Sixteen years," he shrugged. Auggie is fast asleep in his arms. Carefully Kylo placed him back into his crib.

"Sixteen years?"

Kylo nodded. "I could have seen her sooner but it was hard to." He hovered still by the crib, staring at the baby. There was no expression on his face but she can tell he was perplexed by the pureness of the baby. The baby wasn't theirs. The baby was innocent, untainted by family legacies. While Rey tries to pretend she was normal teenager, she knows that she can't run away from her legacy. It was different now, hers was tied to Kylo's. And he's been talking about binding their mobs into one."I didn't want her to see what I've become," his mouth twitches - and yet he doesn't break.

Rey couldn't help but to pity him. "What made you come back to her?"

He turned and looked at her. "You."


	5. Chapter 5

He senses her.

She's awake but she doesn't want him to know. Kylo knows. She's peeking underneath the blanket through a crevice, watching him get ready. He wakes up earlier than her and today he has to leave the apartment by five. His mother will take her to school today.

Kylo just came out of the shower, towel wrapped around the lower part of his hips. His hair is wet and clinging past his ears. He puts lotion on his face and body first and then reaches for his compartment of piercings. He can feel her gaze. She was always fascinated with seeing him put his piercings on for he had so many. Kylo turns to her. Automatically she closed her eyes and pretends to be still asleep. He turns back and stared at himself in the mirror.

She's looking at him again. Like a child, thinking they could outsmart their parent.

Kylo doesn't say anything. He doesn't feel like talking after last night and neither does she. He continues to get ready for the day. If she was asleep he would have kissed her on the cheek before he left but she was awake. Nothing he seems to do ever pleases her.

* * *

Rey thinks about the morning throughout the day.

He usually kisses her before he goes but he didn't this morning. He probably hates her after she forced him to open to her last night. She should have known better. She's been around men like him in her mob - granted she was hidden in the closet by her grandfather - but regardless she's been around men like him. Their mobs taught the men to be stoic, aggressive, and dominating. The women were taught to be reserved, self reliant, and submissive.

English class was her homeroom hour and currently fliers were being passed around. Fliers about upcoming events and opportunities. Rey always looked forward to the homeroom announcements. She wants to do more with her life. She hopes that she'll be accepted to a good college someday.

She became fixated by a flier about the dance club again. She's never danced before and so it interested her. She's seen the club practiced and it looked fun.

"Next term, the school has decided to invest in expanding the arts. There's going to be different dance classes offered in addition to more art classes on animation and film. If anyone's interested, try joining a club to see if you want to chose it as an elective for the next year," her teacher says.

Rey turned to Rose. "I kinda want to join dance club."

Rose raised her eyebrow. "Really?"

"What?"

"Nothing!" Rose said immediately. "It's just you're very shy. I didn't think you would be into that."

"Oh." She doesn't blame Rose. Rey didn't exactly dance at formal. She was too scared to of being laughed at. "Well do you want to join with me?"

"I'm already busy with my other clubs and Jannah's busy with volleyball but it would be nice for you to branch out on your own and make new friends."

Rey stared at the flier again and searched for the meeting times. There were several dates listed and the earliest one was today at lunch. Rey plans to stop by.

* * *

_She's very different than him._

_Kylo observed as he took her to his apartment. You wouldn't know that she was the granddaughter of Sheev Palpatine. You wouldn't know that it was her birth right to take over her family's mob one day. He kept his eyes on her. The Palaptines were cunning and cold blooded but he doesn't see any of those traits in this little girl. She seemed like any typical teenaged girl - innocent and wide eyed. She was pretty too and dainty. The Palpatines were known for their distinct fighting skills but this girl was thin and slender. She's not able to defend herself, Kylo knew from how effortless it was to take her last night._

_She's walking around in his apartment, mouth parted slightly in amazement - as if he took her to somewhere special._ _"You live here?" she asked in surprise. Rey repositioned the baby from sucking on her shoulder._

_He nodded slowly with furrowed eyebrows. He doesn't know where she was going with this._

_"This place is beautiful - and there's a view of the city!" she runs to the balcony again._

_Kylo examined his studio apartment. It doesn't seem like much to him. He had money to buy himself a house but it wasn't practical since he lived alone. He followed the girl in the kitchen and watched her marvel at the marbled island. She was a peculiar girl. He didn't think teenagers would be interested in things like that._

_"It's big and pretty and in a nice part of downtown. I really like how your apartment looks, white and marbled with green plants everywhere and large windows. This place must cost a fortune."_

_He blinked at her. "It isn't much. It's very small but this place will do for now since it's just the three of us - for now," he lingers on the word, so she can pick up on his implication._

_"Are you kidding?" Rey laughed lightly. "I know that this apartment cost at least a couple thousand dollars a month. Especially with the location. This is the nicest place I've been to," she said. She plays with the settings on the stove._

_Kylo stops her from burning herself and scolds her for her foolishness. Rey doesn't seem to notice and goes off to explore the rest of the apartment. He follows her like a shadow, perplexed by her behavior. She really was different than him. His family lived lavishly for they were leaders of the mob. His grandmother, Padme was a graceful and refined woman who emphasized class to her family. He expected the Palpatines to have the same lifestyle as them but he was mistaken._

_Her grandfather and her lived in a small run down apartment in the worst part of town. Kylo knows that the Palpatines were wealthy but Sheev had always been off. There used to be only one mob ruling the state until his grandfather Anakin decided to break away to protect his children. Violence was expected in any mob but Sheev wasn't all there. The feud ran deeper than just a few generations and far more complicated than Kylo will ever understand._

_He stood there, watching a Palpatine go through his things. Kylo's jaw twitched as he crossed his arms to contain himself. Rey walked out of the bathroom and into his room. He follows her, watching her every single move._

_It taunts him, how harmless this girl was. It has to be an act. She was the granddaughter of Sheev and it was in her blood to be manipulative. His father was dead because of her grandfather. She's smiling now and it makes his blood boil._

_"You should be so lucky," his tone was cold._

_Rey stopped in place. "What?"_

_"Don't see me sparing your life as weakness," he said through gritted teeth. It provoked him - seeing her look so confused. She was not any other girl, she was a Palpatine. "I could have passed you around to my men. Have you be a whore. Lock you up whenever you're not needed for the rest of your days. Don't forget you belong to me."_

_Rey went silent._

_He exhaled and cursed underneath his breath. He waits for her to burst into tears but she doesn't. She just stood there, staring at the ground and clutching the baby. Kylo looked up at the ceiling as if there was an answer for him to find. "Unpack your things and clean the room and go make dinner."_

* * *

Kylo picks her and the baby up at night. He's here a little bit later than usual. He got held up dealing with some cartels but he made sure to tell his mother not to make dinner. He likes having dinner with Rey but lets his mother fix her up a snack. His mother kisses the baby goodbye before they left. "What do you want for dinner tonight?" he asked her as he gathered their things. "It's really late so I don't mind getting take out."

She pursed her lips and thought about it for a moment. "I don't mind cooking. We have some chicken breasts in the fridge. I can make chicken teriyaki for us. It's pretty quick to make."

"You sure? It'll be a late dinner though."

She shook her head. "I don't mind. I feel bad that I haven't been making decent meals this week."

"Okay." He liked it when she cooked opposed to getting take out. It was personal, made by her own two hands. He would never tell her that though.

Rey held her breath as she put her backpack in the trunk.

* * *

_He maintains her well, Cardo notices._

_Kylo was not a cruel man but he wasn't the kindest either. He expected to Kylo to bring the girl to starvation and death by now. She doesn't look as ill as she once did. Her hair was shinier and her skin glowed. He dresses the girl in nice things opposed to the ratty clothes she wore when they discovered her. No bruises. No marks. Nothing. He even enrolls her into a rich private school, Cardo knows by the crest on her uniform vest. Kylo's very protective of the girl, can't seem to pull his attention away whenever he brings her to one of their hideouts. As if the men would do anything, they knew better._

_But still, Cardo had hoped for at least one day when Kylo felt generous and have the girl be passed around. There were plenty of women available but this girl was different. She was a Palpatine. The Palpatines had done so much and killed so many of their men. It was their right to torture this girl and yet they don't._

_It perplexes Cardo how much their leader seems to pamper this girl. Give her special treatment. A Palpatine. Their leader seems to forgotten who killed his father. She was a Palpatine - manipulative and a snake._

_The entire Knights of Ren don't dare speak back._

_Their leader decides for them to take a break and then proceed to continue the discussion for next week. Trudgen and Vicrul were doing coke in the corner while Ap'lek was taking a woman into a different room. Cardo decided to play cards with Ushar. Kuruk was watching sports and smoking on the couch while he had a woman suck him off. Kylo sat beside Kuruk, not even batting an eyelash of what was happening. Kylo was absorbed with the television set._

_Cardo scanned the room ever so often._

_He sees the girl shuffle in, carrying the baby in her arms. Their leader turned to Kuruk. Kuruk stops smoking and takes out the cigarette. Kylo goes to the girl, lowering himself to her level. She whispers something in his ear._

_Kylo nods. "I'll be right back," he announces to the Knights._

* * *

Cooking chicken and rice takes a while but the waiting helps her nerves. Kylo doesn't bat an eyelash. He showered a few minutes ago and was currently drinking a beer and watching TV. The baby was next to him, playing with a stuffed teddy bear.

"How was your day?" she asked, raising her voice so he could hear her from the kitchen.

"It was fine. I had to stitch up Vicrul. He got shot in the leg during a drug cartel negotiation. That's why I was late today picking you up. Had to take care of the man that shot him."

Rey blinked. He says it so casually, as if nothing happened. "Is Vicrul alright?"

"He's fine. We gave him a lot of painkillers and alcohol. He's going to rest for a few days."

Oh. She forced herself to focus on the vegetables then. She made them plain, merely boiled. "Other than that did everything go smoothly?"

She hears him gulp half of his beer. "Yeah. It did. How was your day?"

Rey's ears went hot. "It was fine too."

"Nothing special happened?"

"No." Well...sort of. She stops talking then and fixes up their plates. Their plates were relatively the same - chicken teriyaki, rice, and boiled broccoli and carrots - except for the portions. She had more veggies while Kylo had an extra scoop of rice with extra chicken and hot sauce on the side. She chopped up some fresh green onions too and sprinkled some sesame seeds. "The food's ready," she tells him. She heads to the living room and scoops Auggie into his highchair. She placed a few toys to keep the baby occupied.

They ate in silence like they always did. Except Rey barely ate. Kylo notices her push around her food. "There's something on your mind," he stated, taking a gulp of his beer.

"No, there isn't."

The corner of his mouth twitched.

* * *

The person you lay in bed with says a lot about you. She's nothing like him and yet everything like him. She was distant and closed off like he was. His stark contrast and his mirror. They were day and night who met in the twilight. Kylo goes through her things whenever there was something wrong. It doesn't take long for a reaction out of her. He grabs her backpack and immediately tears the zipper open. He digs through her folders and notebooks.

Rey stood there, holding the baby.

He stumbles upon a flier. He senses her flinching. "Is this what's been bothering you?"

She slowly nodded, unable to look at him.

Kylo reads the flier. His eyebrows furrowed. It was a flier for a dance club. It caught him off guard for she's never expressed any interest in dance before but then he remembers how she ran off to formal. "Do you want to join this?"

She nodded again, swallowing hard. "Yeah," she said meekly.

"What's the problem then?" It certainly wasn't over the price. Even if it was an additional cost, he had more than enough.

"They meet once a week during lunch and there's practice twice a week after school for about two hours - But it's not like I'm going to join," Rey said immediately. "I know I can't be away from the baby."

"If you want to join you can," he shrugged. Kylo sees her eyes light up in surprise. He raised his eyebrow from her response. "You would just have to speak to my mother about the arrangements though since she's in charge of you when I'm away."

Rey blinked. "Can I?" she asked slowly. The baby plays with her hair then.

"Can you what?"

"Join."

"I really don't care as long as you communicate with me and my mother about where you're at. It doesn't really effect me since I will still pick you up the same time."

Her mouth curls for a second. "I'm going to go - go brush my teeth - can you hold the baby?"

Kylo nodded and he sees her hiding another smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering, dance will play more of a role in this story. It has been a role since the beginning with her running off to formal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) I find it amusing that there's slow burn in both variations of YANK and this lmao  
> 2.) Rey in this version is much cuter here imo  
> 3.) Kylo's a much more fun character to write/and less of a shittier person here imo  
> 4.) I usually try to avoid writing in Kylo's perspective but welp here we are (see the end notes for the continued thread)

She can tell he was unsatisfied. He always was whenever it was the time of the month for her. Usually Rey looked forward for her period for it gave her a moment of rest but she wished it would have come later. She's on her knees, still in between his legs. Her cheeks are flushed as she wiped the corner of her mouth. Kylo doesn't say anything. He just stares at her blankly after filling her throat.

If it was any other time, Rey wouldn't have cared if he was satisfied or not. But it wasn't. He allowed her to partake in after school activities and she wants to show her gratitude but she can't. She frowned, wiping her mouth again. She feels so inept for being unable to please him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Kylo pushes her away to welcome back the distance between them. She watches him pull up his pants and buckle his belt.

Kylo doesn't say anything.

She gets up off the ground and sits on the bed. It doesn't help that she was on her heavy day and was bloated and had oily skin. She feels ugly on her period and her hormones were worse this time around. He stands up and gathers his keys and wallet from the dresser. Her skin tightened from the sight.

"I'm going to go out for a bit," he tells her.

Rey forced herself to nod. She knows where he was going to go. Kylo was going to find a woman to fulfill his needs. Usually Rey doesn't mind but this was different. She wanted to pleasure him and tried the best she could but it wasn't good enough. She holds back her tears. The last thing she wanted was him to see her cry.

* * *

_Kylo choses not to be involved with the baby. He doesn't mind the baby - except he hates something that makes Rey happy. He's not jealous - he just doesn't like Rey being happy. Happiness was a foreign concept to him, it's overbearing to see her smile so much with the baby. Sometimes irritating. Kylo doesn't know why. Sometimes he's consumed with the want to get rid of the baby._

_It bothers him with how naïve Rey was. Yes the baby was cute and all but having a baby around was a big responsibility. Rey doesn't know that yet. Right now taking care of the baby is easy because he's like a pet for now but the baby's going to grow up. And would need guidance and discipline. She's young and he doesn't think she's capable of properly taking care of the boy. Kylo knows damn well he will end up raising the boy in some form. The baby will eventually need to be potty trained and what not. It bothers him, how the baby is involved with them. The baby doesn't belong here and deserved a better life. Rey and Kylo were brought up in this environment and will live like this until they die._

_He can't exactly get rid of the baby though. Rey was much smarter and would notice the difference if he replaced the baby with a cat or a dog. The baby's not even hers and yet she loves the baby as if he was._

_The baby is crying again in the middle of the night. It was normal. The baby needs to be fed every few hours. Kylo waits for Rey to wake up to take care of the boy. She doesn't wake up even though the crying is becoming insistent. Kylo turned his head at the girl. She's usually good with waking up for the baby but for some reason she's not tonight._

_"Rey," he calls out her name. Nothing. Kylo nudges her. She's still asleep. He exhaled and waits for the baby's cries to become louder and louder to wake her._

_\- Nothing._

_Kylo pushes her again._

_Nothing._

_He grumbled and got out of bed. Kylo was many things but he wasn't going to let the baby starve. He stumbles in the dark and searches for the tin of formula and jug of water. He stubs his toe in the process and hits his knee on the nightstand. He doesn't murmur a word. He doesn't want to wake Rey - not that he cares for her but that he doesn't want her to see him tend to the baby. He's made it very clear to her that if she wants the baby in this apartment that she's solely responsible. He's only doing this once because he's exhausted and wants to sleep. Kylo carefully reads the directions, makes sure the ratio was correct and makes a bottle. The boy cries louder and louder, screeching his lungs out. How the hell was the girl not hearing this? He lifts the boy out of the crib. It takes the baby a few tries to find the bottle. Kylo repositions him to help. It was much harder than it looked._

_The second the boy latched on, he sucked as if there was no tomorrow. Kylo blinked in fascination as he heard the baby gulping and breathing deeply. He considers pulling the bottle away to slow the boy down from choking. Formula is dribbling down the baby's chin. It sounds like the baby's never ate before. Kylo stood there and waited for the baby to finish._

_He puts away the bottle and tries to burp the baby then. The baby cries with one pat. Kylo blinked. Was he was too rough? Perhaps he was since Kylo felt the boy's spine. Kylo tries again but lightly this time. And then again. The baby keeps crying, face entirely red. But he tries again, recalling memories of watching Rey do it._

_It takes a while but the baby finally burps. The baby threw up on his shirt. Kylo brushed it off but doesn't react. He proceeds to change the baby's diaper and does it quickly to avoid any accidents. The baby is calm as he does this, just keeps yawning and cooing at Kylo. He paused as he buttoned up the boy's onesie._ _He swore the baby smiled at him._

* * *

_He returns home late again the next night and finds her asleep on the couch with the baby next to her, asleep in the bouncer. Good. He discards his clothes to the floor slowly. One by one. Metal clinks on the ground. He hovers by her and stared. Kylo never expected a Palpatine to be beautiful. He can't seem to pull away from looking at her face. Kylo stroked his cock as he touched her freckles._

_Pretty._

_And all his._

_He takes his time with getting himself ready. He wants her to wake up to a nice surprise. He'll cover her mouth so he can go the whole night without any interruptions. She yelped in his hand as he forced himself in. He's doing this so slowly though. She should be used to the intrusion of his cock by now. Kylo pressed his hand more to muffle out her cries."You have such a pretty face," he tells her. He doesn't like giving compliments but she was gorgeous. And he knows she's going to become more attractive when she's older._

_"Thank you," she said with cheeks flushed._

_He released his hand away and begins to have his way with her. He can't help but to look at her and admire her. She was a pretty girl and she'll give him pretty babies. She may not like him but she loves babies. She loves ones she finds in the dumpster, Kylo's certain she'll love babies even more that were biologically hers. He'll give her a lot to keep her happy. He never considered in all his years to be drawn to the idea of having children - let alone with a Palpatine. But she wasn't like them, she was harmless._

_Rey's shuddering with ever thrust - fighting her arousal, staring at everything but him. Usually he'll order her to look at him but tonight he's in a generous mood. Maybe she'll grow to love his face if her children looked like him._

_Kylo pulls out and comes on her pretty face._

* * *

_He repulses her, this he was well aware of. Kylo put on his underwear as she went to the bathroom to clean her face._ _It upsets him. She should be grateful. He lets her share a bed with him and gets her whatever she wanted. Lets her go to a rich fancy school. He even lets her keep the damn baby that wasn't even theirs. He could have treated her differently and have her starve. She should be thankful and begging to be fucked by him._

_Kylo doesn't know why he's treating her like this - as if she was some princess. He should be making her life a living hell._

_Maybe this was her plan - to make him become attached to her. It infuriates him how there's something about her that gravitates him to her. It all feels effortless and unintentional but she's a Palpatine. She knows what she's doing._ _She's getting to him._

_The baby wakes up and starts crying again. Kylo looked up and glared at the boy. To his surprise, the baby stopped crying and smiled at him. Kylo's eyebrows furrowed. He turned around but Rey wasn't here. She was still in the bathroom washing her face. So the other night wasn't a one off, the baby genuinely likes to smile at him. Kylo doesn't know why though._

_Kylo looked around to make sure the room was empty and quickly waved at the boy before Rey returned._

* * *

_"She's different," his mother says._

_Kylo doesn't respond. He collects the baby's things and walks passed his mother. He arrived late tonight and Rey and the baby were asleep. He figured it would be easy to put their things in the car first._

_His mother followed him and it only provokes him. It was just like his mother to be a shadow and do nothing. "Rey's sweet - she's nothing like him."_

_"And what makes you think that?" he snapped. "Just because she puts on an innocent façade around you? For all you know she's everything like him and will attack when we least expect it." Kylo goes back inside his mother's house to get Rey's belongings. He doesn't hesitate to snatch Rey's things and drag them on the ground._

_His mother glared at him. "I've been around her for a while to know what type of person she is. And I'm never wrong about a person," Leia countered. "She's just a little girl. She has nothing to do with the death of your father."_

_Kylo was about to slam the trunk but he stopped himself. He held on to her backpack, her floral printed backpack. She was so grateful for him allowing her to get this bag opposed to a standard solid color one._

_Leia took a step closer to him. "And I think you know that," she said slowly._

_He slammed his trunk then, purposely crushing Rey's bag in the process. He was about to go back inside the house but his mother touches his arm. "Don't touch me," he warned._

_His mother stops for she knows better. "She has nothing to do with this," Leia said firmly. Kylo stood there unemotionally, waiting for her to finish. Leia bit her lip in frustration but kept her compsosure. "I know you're still hurt about losing your father but you shouldn't be taking it out on her." She waits for a reaction but she doesn't get any. Her heart skipped a beat. "Ben."_

_Kylo's lips twitched. "I told you to never call me by that name," he said, his tone calm as ever. His mother stopped altogether and watched as her son go back into the house for the children._

_Somehow he was more frightening calm than when he was angry._

* * *

Rey hugged her legs, biting her nails in thought.

The taste of him lingers in her mouth.

She roams around the apartment to keep herself occupied. It's lonely when the baby was asleep and unable to keep her busy. She finds herself in the kitchen, going through cabinets. The baby was running low on water and formula. Rey will tell Kylo in the morning to take them to the store. She knows not to interrupt him when he's away.

* * *

_He abruptly wakes her, snatches her up by her cardigan. She's so much of a kitten, yelping to every little twinge of pain. So sensitive. Frail. Kylo hushes her to shut up and she does. "Get yourself and the kid in the car," he orders her._

_Rey nods quickly. She scrambles to Auggie, careful not to trip._

_His mother is nowhere to be found. It makes Rey's heart sink. Something had happened again. He won't tell her though. He never does. She was about to get into the car when she saw her bag half out. Her heart skipped a beat. "What's going on?" he honks at her._

_She stood in place dejectedly._

_Kylo curses and gets out of the car. "Did you hear me?" he yelled._

_"My backpack," she said in a soft voice._

_"Oh," he said as if it was nothing. As if he didn't disrespect her things. Kylo goes back inside his car to open to the trunk. "It's fine, it's just a bag."_

_She forced herself to nod as she properly put her backpack in the trunk. She wipes the tears before getting inside the passenger's seat._

_"Did anything break?" he asked her._

_"No," she swallowed hard. "Just bent up notebooks and folders."_

_"Then why are you crying?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"They're just things, Rey."_

* * *

_When everything was done - dishes washed and baby asleep, he peels off her clothes and kisses her belly. She's standing there, legs wobbling as his hands and mouth worked his way down. He keeps going back to kiss her belly. Rey squirmed. She doesn't know why Kylo's fixated with her stomach tonight. His hair irritates her flesh, makes her flinch._

_His fingers are grazing the inner part of her thighs while his mouth was still kissing her belly._

_Maybe he's trying to be sweet with her but he's not succeeding. This was strange. She's not entirely sure what he was doing. What Rey doesn't know was that she's highly uncomfortable that his nose was pressed against her abdomen. He had sharp features, his cheekbones digging in to her skin. It's odd. Her stomach wasn't a sexual part and yet he keeps going back to it._

_"Kylo," she gathers her courage to speak. She grimaced. He licked her belly button. It's so weird. She wants to scream but she doesn't. "I'm tired - can I lay down?" she's careful with her words. Making sure he knows that she's not denying him._

_He nodded._

_She yelped as he kisses her. Without thinking, she pushed him off of her. Rey froze as she met his glare. "I'm sorry," she blurted. She didn't mean to - it was just a muscle reflex. He proceeds to kiss her again. Rey forced herself to stay still and take it. His breath is on her skin - warm and wet. She squealed again in confusion as he kissed her all over. She hates when he gets like this. She rather have him just stick his penis in her like he always does than when he gets weird._

_He's so rough with her - and now he's kissing her stomach again._

_Rey tries so hard not to cringe. Are all men like this? Or was it just him? "You're such a pretty girl," he breathed the words into her skin. This was nothing new. Ever so often he would tell her this. "Do you know that?"_

_She shakes her head._

_He doesn't see her response, he's too preoccupied in kissing her stomach. "When you're old enough we'll have some of our own."_

_"Of what?" she asked. But he's too distracted to answer. She ran through her thoughts, of what he possibly meant._ _Rey went quiet then, realizing what he was transfixed on._

* * *

She hears the sound of the door open. Rey checked the time on her phone, he's back early. Extremely early. He only left for half an hour. Kylo's usually gone for a couple of hours. She's on the couch reading a book to Auggie. The baby was absorbed in the pictures that she doesn't go up to greet him. She sees Kylo coming in with a plastic bag in his hand.

"Where did you go?" she asked.

Kylo throws something at her.

Out of instinct, Rey dodges it. She opened her eyes and discovered there was a bag of mini assorted chocolate beside her on the couch. "What's this?" she asked.

"What do you think it is?" he snapped. He hates stupid questions. Kylo went to her then and hands her the plastic bag. Rey looked through and found all of her favorite junk foods and her favorite ice cream. There's also a to go bag of her favorite burger joint too. "I noticed the baby was running low on food. I got him some rice cereal to try since he's going to be around the age to introduce him to solids."

Rey doesn't hesitate to open the bag of chocolate. She always craved sweet foods on her period. She hides her smile by eating some chocolate. Which isn't a difficult thing to do. "How come you didn't tell me you were going to the store?" she asked as she nibbled on a crunch bar. She's already opening another mini size bar for herself.

Kylo shrugged. "You seemed really weak earlier. I thought it would be better for you to rest - why?"

"No reason."

Auggie tries to steal some chocolate. Kylo stops it.

"Did you get me stuff to make me feel better?" she asked. Rey's unwrapping another fun size bar but not for her though.

Rey holds the tiny piece of chocolate and he takes it. "No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because Kylo's secretly soft with the baby but hides it lmao. there will be more past scenes of him with the baby. I won't spoil it for ya'll but it explains why Auggie likes Kylo.  
> 5.) waiting for the miscommunication to stop  
> 6.) dance will be in the next chapter


	7. Chapter 7

It's strange for Rey to learn how different their mobs were.

There were so many parallels and similarities and yet a million contrasts that separates them into two. Kylo and the Knights of Ren, as ruthless and crude as they were, also came from a world of high class and sophistication. They all went to the best schools or had private teachers and all received formal training in music and sports. They were highly educated as well as skilled in all types of trades. Rey didn't have that luxury, her grandfather's ideology was the entire opposite. Her grandfather believed in equality with all members of the mob despite the fact there were clear levels of hierarchy.

Kylo was brought up well. She forgets this. This was the same man that prefers instant ramen and beer over a seven course meal. This was the same man that would rather take care of his own injuries than go to a hospital. It wasn't that he was a frugal man but the fact is he prefers the simple things in life. He has a nice a car but only one opposed to his men who had a collection of sports cars.

Rey's reminded of his upbringing as Kylo was going through her things again. She forgets how intelligent he was, always interested with her reading materials. It's not much of an issue, except when he takes her books without her knowing. She needs them for school and often gets in trouble for not having her reading material for class. It was very inconsiderate of him. He goes through her things without her consent and takes her things without permission.

She knows not to speak out though.

Rey wonders how life was like for him before her.

* * *

_She cries a lot the first several days with him._

_Kylo doesn't try to comfort her. She doesn't deserve anything. He keeps her in the main hideout, in a room with just a bed and its sheets. There was no need to bind her for there was nowhere for her to run. The hideout always had at least one person at all times. The girl was outnumbered by the members that came in and out. She's smart, knows to keep herself in the room._

_His men always vocalize their complaints about the baby crying too much._

_"What do you want me to do about that?" Kylo shrugged. "Babies cry." He doesn't understand why the Knights were so unnerved by that fact. It wasn't much of an inconvenience. Babies and cry but they also stop._

_Ap'lek gave his leader a glare. "You should get the baby a crib. The bed is barely anything."_

_"Are you concerned for that child?" Vicrul smirked._

_Ap'lek rolled his eyes. "No. I hate hearing that thing cry. I'm so close to suffocating it."_

_"Why don't you just give him away?" Ushar suggests._

_Kylo doesn't answer Ushar and proceeds to respond to Ap'lek. "I suppose I should get the baby a crib. It isn't fair for him."_

_"You should," Ap'lek answered sharply. He was the always the voice of reason, unapologetic with everything._

_The baby starts crying again and his men all groan in dismay. Kylo ignores it and the men are forced to be silent about the baby. "How is the girl? Is she bothering anyone or giving anyone difficulties?"_

_"No," Cardo chimed in. "She's just happens to be loud too."_

_"I see," Kylo responds calmly. Somehow he doubts it. Rey was relatively quiet. She kept herself in place and did what she was told._

_"Perhaps some pills will help," Cardo said._

_Kylo smirked at his men. He knows what certain pills Cardo was insinuating. All his men have been trying to persuade him to have a few turns with the girl. "You know my answer and I never change my mind," he said in a threatening manner._ _The baby stops crying and the sudden quietness shifts his mind elsewhere. Kylo doesn't announce to his men where he was going for they already knew._

_He goes into the room, locking the door in the process. His eyes scanned the room. The baby was asleep in the middle of the bed, surrounded by a nest of covers and pillows while Rey was laying on the edge. She sits up and looked at him, always does whenever she recognized the sound of Kylo's footsteps._

_"You got to keep that baby quiet," he warns her. "The Knights have trouble focusing with distractions."_

_"I-I'm sorry," she whispered._

_His eyes flickered as he heard her stomach growl. She's hungry. She's not supposed to be though. He doesn't want the girl to be fed the finest of things but he doesn't want her to starve either. She had a baby to take care of, she needs some fuel. "I'll be right back," he said calmly. "I'm going to have a talk with my men."_

* * *

Something happened to Kylo when he was young. Rey doesn't know what and neither does his mother. Leia tells her that Kylo wasn't always so distant and cold. The years sent away under his uncle's care had changed him. That was the main objective though, to prepare him to take over one day. However, no one expected the results to be this severe.

Rey's been learning in school about the human body. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. It's an interesting fact to know that it takes more effort to frown but with him, it was in his nature.

Leia tells her that he was a shell of himself. Dead inside. Emotionless.

He never smiles. Leia says that he hasn't smile since he was ten years old.

"It's my biggest regret in life," Leia tells her. "I should have never sent him away."

"Why did you?"

"He was too sensitive and you can't be if you want to survive."

* * *

_"She's pretty," Cardo states to his leader._

_Kylo turned to him and nods in agreement. "Yeah she is."_

_"She'll be prettier with bigger breasts though."_

_He shrugged. "I suppose."_

_Cardo frowned. He can tell how much Kylo was indifferent to the major flaw in the girl. "It shouldn't be that much to get work done on her."_

_Kylo raised his eyebrow, mouth set in a deeper frown. "It shouldn't be much of your concern. So you shouldn't be visiting her room often as much as you do," Kylo says. He doesn't say much, he just leaves it at that. He walks passed Cardo and snatches Rey by the neckline of her shirt like a dog. "Come, we're leaving."_

* * *

_Rey notices that he's in a sour mood today. She liked it better when he was detached. He was less scary that way. She obeys like she always does and gathers the baby and his things. They were in the car now, Kylo's fuming. She doesn't dare to ask, would rather sit in uncomfortable silence than provoke him._

_"It appears that you're also a distraction to my men."_

_Rey's heart skipped a beat. She examined herself. She wasn't wearing anything in particular that was revealing and she kept quiet around them. But Rey knows men like Kylo. These men were sexist and see women at fault for everything - even for men finding a woman attractive. "I'm sorry. How should I not be a distraction?"_

_Kylo bit his lip._

_She looked at him. His jaw was twitching. She feels her stomach churn at the sight. She's more afraid of what he's going to do once they got to the destination._

* * *

_Kylo checks them in to a hotel. It wasn't some rundown hotel either. He requests for extra pillows and blankets. The pull out bed was probably for her. In his eyes, she probably doesn't deserve to sleep in a bed. Rey held on to the baby and wondered how long they were going to stay. The hotel staff gives them complimentary cookies. She eats hers fast because she hasn't been fed yet. Kylo glares at her poor behavior but she doesn't care. The cookie was fresh and warm and the chocolate was gooey too._

_Her stomach grumbles for more food. It was always like that, sometimes you don't know you're starving until you start having some food in your system._ _Kylo frowns and she turns away in embarrassment. He puts his arm around her as the hotel staff took them to their room._

_Kylo sets up the pull out couch while Rey was feeding the baby. "Do you live in hotel rooms?" she asked._

_He stopped setting up the bed as his eyebrows furrowed. "What kind of question is that?"_

_"A serious question," Rey said quickly. "I just- I don't know I thought we were going to your place."_

_"I do have a place of my own," he responded calmly then._

_Oh. Rey doesn't ask anymore questions. He probably doesn't want her scent everywhere at his home._

_"Is the baby done?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Good. Put him here," he points at the pull out couch. He toss the blankets and pillows carelessly on to the pull out bed. Rey nodded and does so. She takes her time, making sure the baby wouldn't roll. She makes a barrier with the pillows as she sensed Kylo becoming impatient. She ignores it. It was better to be safe than sorry. She hears the sound of clinking. Rey felt her cheeks grow hot. She swaddles Auggie and gives him a kiss before moving away._

_Kylo grabs her and throws her to the king sized bed. She whimpered from the force of it all. He takes off the rest of his clothes. She went still, not sure if he wanted to strip her bare. He gets in the bed naked with his belt in his hand. Rey's eyes widened. He was going to punish her for being a distraction to his men. She wants to run but she knows she can't. That wasn't part of their deal. She must never deny him._

_"Tie your wrist to the bed post," he ordered, handing her his belt._

_Rey blinked. "What?"_

_"Do I need to repeat myself?" he warned._ _She shook her head immediately as she took the belt. He's taking off her clothes now as she's scrambling to tie herself. Rey grimaced as she heard Kylo groaning. "Make sure you tie yourself nice and tight."_

_She tugs on her tied wrist once she was done to show him she's unable to move._

_"Good. Now see your free hand? You can't use that either. If you decide to use it, I will tie both of your hands together. Do you understand?"_

_Rey nodded._

_Kylo nodded back. "Good." He starts kissing her face then as his hand touched elsewhere. Rey tried her best not to move away. She wants to flinch and push him but she knows not to. He hadn't shaved and so his facial hair was irritating her skin. Kylo keeps rubbing his face into her chest, she's afraid her skin's going to become raw and bloody. Rey winced as her legs trembled as his fingers teased her there. "Calm down, spread your legs for me. Good."_

_Rey found herself panting as his fingers were able to maneuver to places that made her wet. She hates that she makes sounds like this because of him. She hates how much she liked it when he touched her there._

_It doesn't take long for her to get aroused. Kylo sits up. He continues to finger her as he stroked his cock. Rey found herself quivering from the sight. He's making her and himself aroused at the same time. She can feel herself become ready for him. Not tense or tight. But welcoming. Eager. "You're such a whore," Kylo muttered. He goes on top of her and starts pushing himself inside. "My whore. Aren't you?"_

_She nodded._

_"Say it," he ordered._

_"I- I am."_

_"You are my what?"_

_"I am... your whore," she whispered. Rey's face was becoming red from how much he was degrading her._

_Kylo smirked as slowly shoved the tip of his cock inside her cunt. "Say it louder." She does. Rey doesn't believe in it but she wants to be fucked. Kylo shoves the rest of himself in once he was satisfied by her tone. He's fucking now. He doesn't hold back. The bed was shaking and she's being yanked back and forth. Her free hand was trembling to grab on to something but she knows better. "You like being my whore, don't you?"_

_"Yes. Yes. Yes." She's sobbing now. It felt so good but it also hurt. She wants to grab on to something to ease the pain of being underneath him and her tied wrist being repeatedly tugged. It hurts. Everything hurts. But she doesn't want it stop. She wants him to pleasure her and make her come. Sometimes he'll stop when she was about to climax to punish her. Rey doesn't want to be punished. "Am I being punished?" she asked weakly._

_"No. You're not." He presses a kiss on her temples before burying his face into her shoulder. "You're a distraction to my men."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I know you do it on purpose."_

_Rey shook her head. "No. I don't - I -_

_Kylo increased his pace and he grabbed her by her throat. "You're pretty and pretty girls know what they are capable of. Starting tomorrow you will live with me so you'll get out of trouble." He lets go of her neck then._

_Rey waited until she was able to breathe to answer. "Really?"_

_"Don't think of the new arrangement as kindness."_

* * *

They have a little game - him and the boy. No one else knows about it and Kylo prefers this arrangement. It was something they could have together, just them. Kylo makes faces at the boy and the boy smiles and laughs. Kylo would never make goofy faces or anything like that. It wasn't something Kylo was able to do but the baby finds joy in Kylo's scowls and glares.

The boy was strange, but the boy was fond of him.

They been having this game for a while, admittedly since early on. The boy wasn't even one but knows their cues of their game - whenever no one was around.

Kylo's been leaving early from work to take the boy early from his mother since Rey has dance practice now. He can't explain his logic but he doesn't feel comfortable with his mother watching Auggie when Rey's at practice. It's not that his mother was unreliable (since she does watch the boy while Rey's at school) so Kylo can't really rationalize his thought process.

The boy doesn't mind though. The boy likes their quality time for Kylo holds and plays with him. Sometimes, Kylo lets the boy sleep in his arms. Kylo picks up Rey from practice too - he doesn't know why he doesn't want his mother to. Rey's getting into the car but she's not sitting in the front. She decides to sit with the boy.

"You're sweaty," Kylo comments. He can't help but to stare at her baby hairs clinging to her neck. She had pretty curls all up in a ponytail.

"It's expected," Rey laughs. She wipes her forehead.

"Sit next to me."

Rey doesn't ask and listens.

"How was practice?"

"It was okay - I'm still struggling with the number but I'm getting there. Everyone else is so good though."

"As long as you keep practicing you'll be fine."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm so sore but I'm having fun."

* * *

Kylo waits. He waits for her to settle the boy down and to shower before Kylo takes her on the couch. She does what she's told but she's not as active. Her entire body was tense and tight. Kylo knew why though. It was from dance practice. She's adjusting to the extra physical activity. It's only been two weeks, she'll get used to it after a month. "You feel like the first time," he groaned into her ear.

"Is that a good thing?" Rey asked as sank her nails into his back.

He nods, wincing as her nails left marks. "You're nice and tight," he says as he was pounding in her. Kylo can hear her wincing from how rough he was with her. "You're so sore, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yes," she said weakly.

Kylo doesn't hold back, he wasn't in the mood to be considerate. She felt amazing and he's been noticing the changes to her body since she started dance class. Her body was becoming more toned and firm. He continues to fuck her, ever so often he nuzzled her throat. Kylo comes on her breasts, in splatters all over. He likes seeing her nipple piercings covered in his come.

It was a nice contrast, silver and white.

He gets himself off of her so she can clear herself off. Kylo does the same as well. He can hear the boy crying for attention but he ignores it. Rey will go to the boy. Kylo sits on the couch and waited for Rey to come back with the boy. She does so, the boy was in her arms. The boy grins at him and coos.

Kylo remained indifferent. Even when the boy leaned towards Kylo with needy open arms. The boy wants to go to him but Rey holds the baby back. Good. Kylo doesn't want anyone to see him with the boy. The boy starts to cry again. It's getting harder to hide their secret since the boy is growing and becoming more and more curious.

Rey notices it. "He really likes you."

He shrugged. "I wonder why."

"It's a mystery to me."

Rey carries the baby to the kitchen to get him some milk. As Rey was making the bottle, the boy keeps turning to Kylo. Kylo decides to make a face but does so briefly. The boy laughs out loud in delight. Rey turns around but finds Kylo on his phone. She turns back to cap the bottle.

Kylo waves at the boy then and the boy squeals back. "Is there anything wrong?" Kylo looked up from his phone. He remained emotionless, hiding his amusement. Kylo and the boy did this often, played their game when Rey was looking away or preoccupied. The sadist in him enjoyed toying with her. 

Rey shook her head slowly in confusion. "No. I just - I thought I saw something."

"You must be light headed from practice," he frowned. "I better order some food before you faint too then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but in all seriousness how funny and cute it is that Kylo refers Auggie as "the boy" 😭♥


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost at the end!

Some memories replay ever so often.

_"How long were you away from her?" Rey asked. About his mother._

_"Sixteen years," he shrugged. Auggie is fast asleep in his arms. Carefully Kylo placed him back into his crib._

_"Sixteen years?"_

_Kylo nodded._

Even ones not too long ago.

_"I could have seen my mother sooner but it was hard to." He hovered still by the crib, staring at the baby. There was no expression on his face but she can tell he was perplexed by the pureness of the baby. The baby wasn't theirs. The baby was innocent, untainted by family legacies. While Rey tries to pretend she was normal teenager, she knows that she can't run away from her legacy. It was different now, hers was tied to Kylo's. And he's been talking about binding their mobs into one. "I didn't want her to see what I've become," his mouth twitches - and yet he doesn't break._

_Rey couldn't help but to pity him. "What made you come back to her?"_

_He turned and looked at her. "You."_

_Rey blinked and waits for him to say more. Kylo doesn't. He's just staring at her, as if he waiting for her to respond. "Me?" she asked holding her breath. There was something powerful in the way he said it, one single word._

_He nods again as he turned from the crib and approaches her. Kylo gets into the bed and sits in front of her. Face to face. "You." There was power in the word as he says it, feels like he's giving life to it - to her._

_She shivered from his gaze. He's usually closed off and distant but at this moment he was being open to her. Perhaps even vulnerable. He looks pained as repeated that one word again. Involuntarily she pressed her thighs together, still wet from his fingers. Rey became frozen as he touched her hair. Kylo's touched her gently before. But never tenderly. This exchange was foreign and unnerving. She stares at the wall as he stroked her hair for this was all frightening. She's not sure if he was angry at her._

_"Rey," he says her name._

_Her heart stops beating. He says her name again and her eyes flickered back to him. Kylo's jagged expression unraveled before her to a form she does not recognize. She doesn't know what's he going to do to her. Rey's trembling as she's forced to not pull away._

_"It's okay," he says in a low voice. He's looking at her in such a different way. It startles her._

_Kylo leans and kisses her. Rey gasped and pulled away. He looms himself around her limbs to keep her anchored. She starts to panic as he's doing something to her that's she not familiar with._ _"Look at me," he ordered in firm tone. "Look."_

_Rey does._

_"You mean everything to me. I need you in my life." Kylo tightened his grip on her to a point it hurts. "Even if you don't feel the same," he paused._

_Rey blinked several times. He looks pained and Rey doesn't know what to do._

_"Even if you hate me I want you to know - I need you to know."_

_There's silence._

_Kylo keeps staring at her, as if he was waiting for something. So was she. But nothing comes out. Her mouth parts slightly but before she could speak, his expression returns to it's normal state. Emotionless and detached._ _He releases her then and leaves her alone in the room._

Often, Rey thinks about that night and that morning after. She could never forget the morning after. It was the only morning that he left without giving her a kiss. Those two days were the strangest days she had with him filled with so much tension and sadness that Rey couldn't comprehend. Rey wonders about that night and what led to them having that somber morning.

They were back to normal though but now and then she thinks about it.

And what that all was.

* * *

Rey held on to the sheet of paper shakily. It was a flier, a flier for her Dance Club's upcoming show. It'll be her first. She's not sure what to do with it - if she should even ask for him to attend. This wasn't something Kylo would be interested in and she's not sure if she wants to invite him - and yet she still holds on the slip of paper.

She tucks the flier away in her backpack.

* * *

Rey was such a little girl. She's been leaving fliers all over the apartment. She even taped one on the fridge. Kylo even found one in his drawer. He doesn't address them at all for his own amusement. She was such a timid girl, too shy to tell him in person about her club's event. It was cute to see her continuously attempt to throw hints at him. She's not subtle at all.

The sadist in him enjoyed toying with her.

Kylo pretends to be unaware of it all. He likes seeing her trying to hide her dejectedness and frustration. She was such a pretty girl, even when she's upset. She's never good with hiding her emotions. It was a weakness of hers but the thing he liked about her. He could read her thoughts even when she doesn't want to share them. She was an open book, warm and welcoming.

He waves goodbye to Rey as he drops her off to school this morning. It was one of the rare days where he's off so its going to be him and the boy until it's time to pick her up. "Bye Rey."

Rey heads out of the car. "Bye Auggie! Bye Kylo!"

Kylo puts the car into drive until he hears something. He puts his foot on the brake pedal as he listened intently. Kylo turned around and stared at the boy (or rather car seat since the boy's car seat has to be facing the other way around). Kylo blinked several times. Did the baby just? Did Kylo hear correctly? "Ky-wo," the boy says again.

Shit. That's the boy's first word too. Rey's going to be crushed but Kylo's going to try to make sure Rey doesn't find out. It's not right for the boy's first word to be him. Especially when Rey's been taking care of the boy since day one. Rey found the boy in the dumpster and decided to be his mom. "Mama," Kylo says then, attempting to correct the boy.

"Ky-wo."

He cursed underneath his breath.

"Ky-wo!" the boy says with pure delight.

"No," Kylo said firmly. " _Mama_ ," he emphasized. "Mama."

"Ky-wo!" the boy giggles loudly.

"Shit." Kylo exhaled deeply. He puts his foot on the gas pedal and starts driving. He sighed. Well, at least Kylo has something to keep him busy today. He has to try to get the boy to stop saying his name before Rey finds out in the next six hours.

* * *

Rey looks forward to school ending to see her baby. To her disappointment, Auggie's not here. "Where's Auggie?" Rey asked as she got into the car. She keeps staring at the car seat as if that could do anything.

"My mom missed him and begged me to let her have him for the night," Kylo answered as if it was nothing.

"Oh." Rey couldn't help but to be sad. It was more than just her baby, it's transparent that Kylo doesn't want to be involved with Auggie. At all. She's one hundred percent sure Kylo got rid of Auggie the second he dropped her off at school.

"It'll be nice for us to have some time alone together."

Rey sighed, unable to hide her feelings. So that's what he wants. He got rid of Auggie because he hates the baby. "Yeah."

Kylo frowned. He turns his head and focuses on the road.

* * *

She does her homework first when they get home. By the time she finishes, it's time for her to make dinner. Rey makes steak and roasted red potatoes - one of Kylo's favorite meals. She cooks her steak well done and his just the way he likes it, medium rare. After dinner they decide to watch a movie in the living room. He lets her choose, probably because he can tell she was missing the baby.

Rey picks one of the films that's nominated for this year. It's an indie film. They don't know much about it and so she figures to give it try. She's sitting on the couch with a blanket on her lap while he's in his easy chair.

As the movie progressed, she found herself watching Kylo more than the film itself. Every time she caught her eyes drifting to him, she shifted her gaze to the screen. It works for a bit but she finds herself in the same cycle. There was something about the way Kylo watched things. He's absorbed in what he watches, as if he was in a trance. This wasn't a new discovery. Not at all. Kylo always drinks beer and watches TV or a film on his free time. It helps him unwind after a long day.

He doesn't even notice that she's been staring at him for several minutes straight. His expression is the same as ever, intense and unreadable but you know he was engaged in the film.

Rey barely knows anything about him - his interests or his hobbies but the only thing she knows is he likes films and shows. It was something, Kylo was indifferent to everything.

The movie ends and he asks what else she would like to watch. He hands her the remote and she takes her time going through the catalog. After a few minutes she gives up and picks something that they already watched before. Kylo doesn't seem to mind because he doesn't say a word. Minutes in she finds herself in the same predicament - unable to focus on the movie.

It was much more interesting watching him. Even in serious scenes his expression remained unhinged. Sad scenes - funny scenes - emotional scenes - romantic - horror - Kylo doesn't react at all. She keeps looking at him, in hopes she gets to experience it. "Why do you like movies so much?" the words escaped her mouth without much thought. It's been on her mind for a while.

Kylo pauses the movie and turns his head at her. His eyebrow is slightly arched. But nothing more.

"I'm just curious that's all."

"I like watching people act," he said simply. "It's fascinating."

Rey's face creased in confusion. "Fascinating?"

Kylo nods. "Yeah. It seems so liberating to be any and every character. Any person. In any world. You're not confined to reality. You can be in any world imaginable."

Rey leaned back and thinks about the way he was brought up when he was sent away. Leia said he left as a sensitive boy and came back a heartless man. Maybe that's why he liked movies so much, it was a way he could escape.

"You know that the movies aren't real but with good actors, they draw you into the world they are bringing to life. There's so many layers to acting beyond the script. Sometimes more happens without words. Through body language. Facial expressions. You know it isn't real but somehow they elicit so much emotion that it feels genuine. Real." He presses play and lets the scene go on. They've watched this movie before and what was playing was a romantic moment. "With the scene between the love interests, they don't need to verbally express they love each other for them or even the viewers to know. There's no dialogue, not even physical contact but it's not needed. The point comes across even without music and lighting colors often associated with romance. That's why the director didn't use it at all. The actors are talented enough to provoke those emotions. It's the most romantic scene I've ever seen. The chemistry between the characters is so far the best I've seen in my life." He rewinds the scene and sets the remote down. He proceeds to watch in silence.

Rey blinked several times. That's the most she's ever heard him speak. And the most profound he ever spoke about something. She hugged her legs close to her chest and she tries to watch but her gaze shifts back to him ever so often. Her eyes flickered. She knows now. About that night and that morning after.

She reaches for the remote and turns off the television set. Kylo turned to her. Rey gets up from the couch and stands in front of him. "Do you love me?" she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might end this at chapter 9 or 10 we'll see how I want to split it.


End file.
